或许 你真的不知道
这样担心着的我
是那样的坐立不安着
想象有可能发生的
却不断地说服自己
或许你不过是睡着了
然后再生你的气
因为你就这样让我担心着
或许 你不了解
不懂我心中的害怕
..ads..
目前分類：信条 (37)
- Nov 16 Tue 2010 22:00
Words from me to you.
- Jun 30 Wed 2010 00:22
给J
J：
最近，我不好。是的，连我自己都不知道是怎么渡过的。原来不开心是会成长的，原来我的伪装牵强得可以。原来，你在我的微笑之间发现了我的沉默，和更多的难过。
我知道你的知道，原谅我什么也不能说，原因我想就算不说你也知道的。世界上有太多不可言的事情，遗憾的是这也是一件不能言传的。或许，该庆幸的是，因为这样让我至少可以好好的、安静的、自我地去过我想过的生活。没有别人太多过度关心的问候（有时候会怀疑究竟别人真的在乎还是不过在看戏而已，但我确信你不是），没有别人那异样的眼光，少了不堪入耳的流言蜚语，不用去做那些无谓的澄清和解释。然而，事情究竟怎么了？我也不知道怎样了。我只是累了，难过了，不想再哭再感到难过了。所以，事情怎么了？无言了，搁置了，不问了，放任了。
假若这是一个考验，那我就是最差劲的失败者，只因不是第一次遇上这样的事情了。因为不是第一次了，所以我更应该懂得如何去走出来的，对吧？可是……何尝做到了？选择了相信，选择了做自己，选择了在当下沟通坦白。可是，规律说明了就算你真的坦然了，但若对方不想走相同的步伐的话，一切终究是滑稽之谈。从来都不会强逼别人的我，这一次做到了连我自己都佩服我自己的程度。所以，算了。宁愿让它走吧，就顺其自然吧，也不要再委屈强迫自己和别人去做任何事，不要再看见镜子中浮肿的双眼，不要再看见他逃避的行为。
学不会的，是吵架，是面对冷战，是不懂得该怎么去爱。以为懂得了，可是仿佛我错了。为避免冷战就吵架吧，至少把话说清楚——但我不会，因不是我选择了冷战，但始作俑者不想终结战局，所以我该怎么办？他在乎了吗？原谅我看不见他的在乎。他不喜欢了吗？原谅我怀疑他真的不喜欢了。没有办法停止的胡思乱想，却没有任何事物可以让我安心，犹如在蔚蓝的大海中漂游，累了却找不着救生圈或浮木。没有办法继续放纵自己，因为我找不着理由让自己沉溺，在那模糊不清的未来里我没有自信。
现在，就这样了。昙花一现。未来里那无数的可能，放弃了，不再去渴望了。
谢谢你。
别担心。
- May 29 Sat 2010 00:30
最后一次的我们
你把头发用发卡定型
放浪形骸的表情
依旧是从前的那个你
不愿被束缚游走天涯
所以在那片海滩上
轻松得让你不习惯了
但是你还是你
永远不会表现的懦弱
深藏在什么地方
我已不知道
- Aug 08 Sat 2009 22:55
不会有的
有时候 我需要的 也不过只是 你的一通电话 说着叫我早点休息的对话
只是卑微地期望着 下一个天亮会让我不那么悲观 罢了
- Mar 22 Sun 2009 16:14
it's going to be fine
- Mar 18 Wed 2009 18:37
所以
所以 当我们都自以为是地
认为我们看得最清楚了
刹那间的转变 天旋地转
然后的 我们崩溃了
回想了许多 到底那里做错了
是那一步 彼此都走错位
所以才到达了瓶颈 转折 之后 结局
但是 别人不都说吗
一个故事如果没有结局
那就不会有下一个故事的开始
- Dec 16 Tue 2008 11:18
谢谢你的温柔
我想把这首歌 送给你
你如此的温柔 可是却不是我想要的
所以我真的只能说抱歉 还有
谢谢你的温柔
SHE 《谢谢你的温柔》
謝謝你如此溫柔 捧著愛靜靜等侯 我的雙手 其實同樣在顫抖
但我能給 你什麼 我只是一個他遺忘的我 心被一掃而空
我會把你 種在我心中 也許某天 會終於再次長出一個夢
＊不知道不明瞭不想要 為什麼我的心
明明是想靠近 卻孤單到黎明
- Dec 11 Thu 2008 10:29
yesterday
- Oct 29 Wed 2008 20:34
真的是过去了
从此以后
我们就是曾经
最熟悉的陌生人
这一刻开始
我会忘了我们曾经拥有的
那些好的与不好的
都会被放进
那个名叫过去的信箱
彩虹之后的晴天
我等到了 也不想失去了
- Oct 02 Thu 2008 20:10
came into my world
- Aug 07 Thu 2008 17:11
勇敢地面对
当你把拿瓶子你想对他说的话
丢向那个青湖时
我知道你还没有准备好
你只是想让你自己坚强一点
你坚强的理由
是因为你决定不再为他难过了
可是你知道 没有那么容易放下的
坏蛋
- Aug 05 Tue 2008 21:10
会过去的
我看见了
眼睛红红的你
我知道你一定哭过了
我知道那种感受
在你那疲惫的背影里
我看见了曾经的自己
你背着光
娇小的身体看起来更脆弱
- Jun 19 Thu 2008 15:17
不想缺席，在你的生命里
小小的生命啊
看着你那小小的呼吸
心理的感觉是复杂的
从没有想过一个那么小的东西
会有那么微妙的生命力
小小的身躯有着很强的生命力
强大的生命力带领着你蹦蹦跳跳地
你的一举一动
总是在我的生命里留下不能毁灭的涟漪
- Jun 15 Sun 2008 10:54
A letter for You
For my dearest daddy,
I was always the one who you don't need to worry among the 3 of your daughters. Because you know I'll always take good care of myself whenever I am and I'm independent enough to live with my own at other place another than home. That's why you never worried about me when i was away from home to study my foundation in Petaling Jaya last year, nor bachelor degree at Kampar, Perak for 3 years times. Thank you daddy, for let me fly with my wings and have faith in me.
Daddy, you've been really supportive in my academic. You was always and still glad that I chose to study Chinese Studies for my degree. I was worried and confused whenever I thought of my future, because all I have from the degree course is knowledges that I can't show my employer in my future. But you've been giving good advises to me whenever I talked about this with you, you even said I can do whatever I love to do which is write story, novel or do academic research which all these won't bring me an good income, because you said you'll take care of my future. You also supported my dream which is have my further study in Singapore after I completed my degree. Thank you daddy, for always support me.
I know, you've been scared and worried, I might fall in love again with the wrong person and hurt myself again after you read my blog and found out I was so hurt during my last relationship. I remember that night, you cried in front of me and told me that you was so sad and hurt when you found out this, you always thought I was fine since it already been a long time. Sorry dad, I was so stubborn that night, intent to go out with him again and was mad at you because you refuse to let me out with him. I'm so sorry daddy. I promise, I'll never let myself being hurt again in relationship, I know it doesn't worth it because the one who worth me loving him, will never let me down and let me cry for him.
I'm sorry and I love you, daddy. Thanks for being a awesome dad for me.
I was always the one who you don't need to worry among the 3 of your daughters. Because you know I'll always take good care of myself whenever I am and I'm independent enough to live with my own at other place another than home. That's why you never worried about me when i was away from home to study my foundation in Petaling Jaya last year, nor bachelor degree at Kampar, Perak for 3 years times. Thank you daddy, for let me fly with my wings and have faith in me.
Daddy, you've been really supportive in my academic. You was always and still glad that I chose to study Chinese Studies for my degree. I was worried and confused whenever I thought of my future, because all I have from the degree course is knowledges that I can't show my employer in my future. But you've been giving good advises to me whenever I talked about this with you, you even said I can do whatever I love to do which is write story, novel or do academic research which all these won't bring me an good income, because you said you'll take care of my future. You also supported my dream which is have my further study in Singapore after I completed my degree. Thank you daddy, for always support me.
I know, you've been scared and worried, I might fall in love again with the wrong person and hurt myself again after you read my blog and found out I was so hurt during my last relationship. I remember that night, you cried in front of me and told me that you was so sad and hurt when you found out this, you always thought I was fine since it already been a long time. Sorry dad, I was so stubborn that night, intent to go out with him again and was mad at you because you refuse to let me out with him. I'm so sorry daddy. I promise, I'll never let myself being hurt again in relationship, I know it doesn't worth it because the one who worth me loving him, will never let me down and let me cry for him.
I'm sorry and I love you, daddy. Thanks for being a awesome dad for me.
- May 01 Thu 2008 01:45
别人的幸福
- Mar 29 Sat 2008 00:53
救我
- Mar 28 Fri 2008 02:17
生日快乐，我的死党
- Mar 21 Fri 2008 23:59
Give Up
手札 (8)
